Changing the narrative – GBV is a men’s issue

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OR TAKE CREDIT FOR THESE PICTURES.

Those of you who are familiar with my writing, know where I stand and what I believe in terms of Gender Based Violence (GBV), specifically towards women and children from my previous posts. According to the UN General Assembly gender-based violence “results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or psychological harm or suffering for women, threats of such acts, coercion, or arbitrary deprivations of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life”

Gender-Based Violence is a violation of women’s human rights. In recognition of the challenges posed by GBV the United Nations initiated the International Campaign, 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. It takes place each year from 25 November (International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women) until 10 December (International Human Rights Day) and aims to eradicate and challenge the violence.

However, I would also like to encourage us all to change the narrative. What does changing the narrative mean? This is shifting our mindsets. Still, 1 in 3 women have been abused in their lifetime, and these numbers are rising no matter the efforts of the UN or other NGOs in times of crisis, particularly like the covid 19 pandemic. This violence must and can be prevented as it is not inevitable. We have established and learned that ending gender-based violence starts by listening to and believing survivors, challenging harmful social and gender norms, ensuring survivors have access to the support services they need and holding each other accountable.

Nevertheless, too often we focus on violence and abuse on the victims, not the perpetrator, leading to victim blaming. The questions should not be about women and what they did that led them into this situation, but they should be centered around the men who committed the violence. This is because Gender Based Violence is a men’s issue, and it is not constructive to sugarcoat the many crimes committed toward women and children in fear of offending anyone. If it makes you uncomfortable as a man to read and listen to women talk about GBV issues, I advise you to ask yourself why. Why does it make you uncomfortable to hear what your peers have done to women? Why are you quick to defend yourself and say ‘not all men’ when it is all women? Why do you change the focus from the man to the woman?

I believe, however, that we can make a difference this year. One of the powerful roles that men can play in this work is that they can say things that sometimes women cannot say or will not be heard saying. This is not a battle between the sexes, we need more men who have the courage and strength to start standing up, standing with women, not against them. We live in the world together and must consider the consequences of this violence on everyone. Think about the boys who are profoundly affected in a negative way by what some adult men are doing to their mothers and their sisters. What about all the young men and boys who have been traumatized by adult men’s violence? This same system that raises and produces a man who abuses women produces a man who abuses other men. We are all victims of men’s violence, so we are interested in speaking out. It seems obvious saying it aloud, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it is not. So let us all stand up together this year and change the narrative for Gender-Based Violence and hold men accountable.